Ladies, please forgive your man if he says or does the wrong thing on Valentine’s Day, or does not say or do the RIGHT thing, or forgets or screws up in some other way. He does love you, he’s just stupid. Or maybe he doesn’t love you. How do I know? But here’s the good news; I have devised a cunning multiple choice quiz for your man that will tell you exactly what he thinks of you without him realising it. Ask your man to answer these four simple questions then see my highly scientific analysis at the end. My gift to you at this most romantic time of the year.
Gentlemen, you MUST choose A, B or C for each question.
You have just finished making mad passionate love to your woman: Do you:
[A] Wrap your arms around her and talk about your dreams for your future together.
[B] Slap her on the behind and say “You were fantastic!”
[C] Say “You’re welcome!”, roll over, break wind and fall asleep.
You are having dinner with her parents for the first time.
[A] Book a table at the best restaurant in town, shave and put on your best suit.
[B] Dress casually and take them to your favourite restaurant.
[C] Order a pizza at home, strip down to your underpants and put on a Jackass DVD.
Your woman looks deep in to your eyes and says “I love you...” Do you:
[A] Hold her gaze, put your hands gently on her cheeks, kiss her and say “I love you too...”
[B] Smile and say “Yeah me too...”
[C] Keep your eyes on the TV and say “Well, you’re only human...”
You are out for a drink with your woman and another guy starts openly flirting with her. Do you:
[A] Tell her it’s at times like these that you realise how lucky you are and take her somewhere else.
[B] Get jealous and tell her to ignore him.
[C] Ask him for a hundred dollars and tell him to have her home by dawn.
Score ten points for each “A”, seven points for each “B” and three points for each “C”.
Ladies, how did your man do?
35 to 40 points: This guy is Mr. Romantic! Marry him.
But be warned, he might actually be gay.
25 to 34 points: He might not be your dream man but he’s probably a lot of fun and great in bed.
12 to 24 points: He’s not a nice guy but he can turn on the charm when he needs to. Stay with him until you find someone better.
0 to 11 points: He’s an idiot who obviously can’t read because he didn’t answer all the questions as instructed. He’s perfect.
Marry him and turn him into whatever you want him to be.