Let’s face it: breaking up sucks, a broken heart hurts. Been there, done that. And it usually doesn’t matter if you are the dumper or the dumpee, or if the decision was, in the long run, the right one - ending a relationship usually comes with your heart shattered into a million pieces, wallowing and tears. But take comfort in the fact that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Here are some easy steps you can follow to fix your broken heart over the course of a single month, and soon, those gloomy days will be over!
FIRST WEEK—OH SO SAD
Day 01 Cry your heart out. This is the time when you need to stock up on tissues. Just let all those tears run down your face and release your anguish. It is better to let it all out than to keep it in.
Day 02 Share the news with your friends or family. Telling people who are closest to you about the breakup is not whining. Keep in mind that you need someone to talk to and listen to your stories. Your friends and family love you and will go the extra mile to help and heal you.
Day 03 Stare at old pictures and other tokens of your love before you throw them out. It’s OK to look those photos, to hug that teddy bear, to wear their favourite sweater one more time. After all, they represent moments of happiness and joy that you should cherish. But after saying your final Goodbyes, you best get rid of them.
Day 04 Have some me-time. Some people prefer to be left alone when love lets them down, so they can reflect on everything that has happened - but don’t overthink it! Focus mainly on the flaws of your previous relationship so that you can have a better one in the future.
Day 05 Write it all down. No, nobody is expecting you to write a novel or start a journal (even though some swear that writing helps to ease the pain). Simply write down on a piece of paper how you feel after the breakup and what could have possibly caused it. Next, dispose the papers symbolising your relationship, burn them, tear them apart, recycle them , or better, be creative and turn them into little handicrafts.
Day 06 Be objective. Nobody’s perfect. Was it something you said, something your ex did? Usually, both parties contribute to the demise of a relationship. Try to see both sides of the stories and learn from the mistakes you both made.
Day 07 Don’t rush into another relationship. Why? Because rebounds never work! You are not ready for another commitment, so save yourself some trouble and refrain from stumbling into the next best person’s arms.
SECOND WEEK—START TO SHAKE IT OFF
Day 08 Remember it is just another part of life. A week has passed. Tell yourself that life has its ups and downs (because it does). Toss out those tissues. No more tears now!
Day 09 Have some snacks. Instead of emotional eating, try to munch on small portions of comfort food like mac and cheese or sweet red bean buns (hey, to each their own). But if you have always been looking for the right moment to start a healthy diet, this is it!
Day 10 Listen to happy tunes. Be it your own playlist or your favourite radio station, turn up the volume and sing along!
Day 11 Watch some movies. Turn off the lights and immerse yourself in the magic of motion pictures— we suggest comedy or action films, just stay away from romance or tragic love stories for now.
Day 12 Adopt a pet, or if you already have one, give it some extra love. It is scientifically proven that pets are beneficial for your emotional health. They shower you with unconditional love - it’s time to return the favour! Hug and cuddle your dog, cat or rabbit and see how quickly they can get a smile on your face again.
Day 13 Read inspiring books or hilarious comics, or both. Finding out about people who live a less fortunate than you but still find ways to survive and thrive will put things into perspective. Follow up with a few humorous comics, and you will feel lighter inside in no time.
Day 14 Run! Run! Run! Don’t run away from reality, but running will give you a sense of freedom. The further you run, the more you feel like leaving behind your past and running towards a better future ahead.
THIRD WEEK—WE’RE GETTING THERE
Day 15 Learn new things. You have been curious about Spanish language for ages and always wanted to master it. You have been fantasizing about being a famous photographer. Why don’t you look for language classes and photography courses to start learning?
Day 16 Boys or girls night out. Spending a night out with your pals at a bar, high-class restaurant, or modest fast-food diner will uplift your mood and at the same time strengthen the bond you all share.
Day 17 Grooming time! Book a full-day treatment in your favourite spa or salon and just pamper yourself. Granted, this will probably appeal more to our female readers but the broken-hearted men among you can maybe try out a new hairdo and be amazed with your own reflection in the mirror.
Day 18 Start decorating. You don’t need to be a highly-acclaimed interior designer to give your place a new look. In addition to keeping you busy, it helps to let go of parts of your room that reminds you of him or her.
Day 19 Write down your strengths and qualities. Recall what you have accomplished and why you are proud of it. It could be your academic or professional achievements, your sincerity in helping others, your five years of staying sober, anything that reminds you of the fact that you are a pretty great person.
Day 20 Finish your unfinished business. You have been postponing your to-do-list at work as you couldn’t think clearly since that nasty breakup? Well, as the deadline is getting closer, use the remaining time to complete all those missing reports ASAP.
Day 21 Take the high road. A step closer to wisdom: wishing that both you and your ex can learn from the mistakes in your relationship that led to the breakup so you can improve in the future.
FOURTH WEEK—HAPPINESS, HOPEFULLY, FINALLY!
Day 22 Get in shape. You already started running, why not turn it into a daily routine? You can also add swimming, cycling, tennis and other exercises to your workout list if you want to. Physical exercise not only makes you feel good, it’s also essential for your health.
Day 23 Go shopping. Buy that cute pair of shoes you had your eyes on for the last couple of months, the cardigan your ex thought looked boring on you or even your dream car - as long as you have enough money. Shop, but shop responsibly!
Day 24 Pack your bags for a vacation. Go for a solitary fishing trip, a lazy weekend at the beach or city-hopping with your best friends. Whether it is short or long, backpacker-style or with style, solo or with your posse - a vacation is always a great way to take your mind off things.
Day 25 Let’s cook! Unleash your inner chef and cook up a storm. You can even try your hand at creating new dishes - who knows, you might just become the next contender on Masterchef, or at the very least, the most popular member in your family.
Day 26 Sign up for social activities. Doing good makes you feel good. Get involved in volunteer work or charity. Helping hands are better than praying lips.
Day 27 See a concert or live music. You have been waiting for that particular artist or band to come to town and here they are! Hurry up, buy the ticket and get wild in the crowd - but refrain from stage-diving!
Day 28 Get artsy. Go to art exhibitions, be inspired by the artworks, and you will go home “enlightened”.
Day 29 Karaoke! Sing it out. Instead of picking sad, angry songs, opt for happy tunes because you deserve to be happy — as you have almost finished the 30-day ritual!
Day 30 Move on. One full month has gone by and you are still standing here, stronger and wiser. Congratulate yourself. It took every ounce of strength to get back on top, and it was not easy, but you made it!